Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
