did you get engaged???
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
