I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Hippo gnu deer
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
