Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize