I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
