I wannas sexs uuuuu
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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