if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
