Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
