You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
