i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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