Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
