I got chris browned last night
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
