i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
