I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize