my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
