Cold hands, warm shart.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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