put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
