More tranny stories later!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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