i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
