I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
