No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
