remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
