people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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