I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I look better un-naked...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize