Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
