I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.