I can tuck mytits in my pants
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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