Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Ill do this for you.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

You are a team player.

(828): View more from North Carolina

This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.

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(904): View more from Florida

ID DO HER

(1-904): View more from Florida

SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach

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(775): View more from Nevada

He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(427): View more from

Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?

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(540): View more from Virginia

I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo

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(618): View more from Illinois

If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life

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(705): View more from Ontario

He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much

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