Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
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So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me