she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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