saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
