please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
