found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
