Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
