I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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