i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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