it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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