maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
