He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
