But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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