He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
