my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
