i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
