How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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