Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
