Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
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he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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