...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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