Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
stop calling my apartment porn island.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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