I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
