Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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