we're chasing vodka with high fives
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
