the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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