I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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