Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
