Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We were destined to go to rehab together
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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