What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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