so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
