Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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