Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I didn't notice because vodka
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There are leaves in my underwear?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
