Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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