I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
