Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
