I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
