Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
BRING THE BAGELS
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
