his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
