I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize