hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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