I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
