So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize